Nobody wins a war.

What the hell is going on in Eastleigh? And Kasarani? And why is no one in authority talking about it, other than giving us meaningless quotes about security operations? Are there people, possibly Kenyans, being held in ‘detention centres’? How is ‘detention centre’ a phrase I use in this our Nairobi, in 2014? Are we […]

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Idiot Press: The Nation Edition.

We need to have a conversation about the Saturday Nation. You buggers, what the hell is going on? I need to give you a bit of background before I continue, that you may fully grasp from whence my anguish emanates. I’ve been reading the Nation since I could read. My father, bless his demanding ass, […]

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Dear Mr President

Dear Mr. President Come take a walk with me Let’s pretend we’re just two people and You’re not better than me I’d like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly… The end is nigh, no? Yes, as it turns out, the end may in fact be nigh, unless someone gets off his […]

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Foolish, foolisher, foolishest.

Welcome to THE Kai Ni Kii? FOOLISH PLANS AWARDS 2013, the annual roll call of idiots who have done the most spectacularly foolish things.  We would like them to know that their efforts at stupidity did not go unnoticed. 1. Foolish plan to stay free. UHURUTO Ah…the dynamic duo.  It takes a certain amount of brilliance to spend billions […]

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I’m celebrating. You?

“Lakini, you Kenyans you have serious issues, especially you blogger types…” That’s the one thought that’s been running through my mind for the past week, after reading blog after blog post about how bad things are, how useless the Kenya@50 celebrations are, how far we are from the dream, how many people have died in […]

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So-ve-reign: Part 1

So this ICC mess? What kind of crack are these people smoking? I have a prezzo throwing tantrums in Addis, while his DP prays at the Hague. A Foreign Minister misguidedly devoted to the cause of one man (admittedly her boss, but still one man), and an A.G. who appears to serve the president and […]

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Idiot Press: The Standard Edition

I have little to no respect for the Standard Group in general, The Standard Newspaper in particular.  For too long they have specialised in pushing their master’s agenda, and given that their master is a former president, along with his cronies, well, they have no credibility in my book.  Unless, that is, I feel like […]

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Idiot Press, continued…

A couple of weeks later, our press has woken up to the shocking realisation that there is more to the story of Westgate than they were being given by the government.  Gasp!  They are now engaging in what they consider investigative journalism, digging up random CCTV footage exposing what really went on in the mall. […]

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