Why Captain Africa is a white man, and such like fiction.

Just when I thought the internet could not possibly get any better, back in July I came across this genius…

cap af

Thank you, gods of the internet, for blessing me with this bounty.  What the…

There I am, wading through the dark recesses, and I come across this picture of Captain Africa.  That’s right, Captain Africa.  Lo and behold, he’s a white man.  Cue confusion.

cap af 3

At first glance I assumed that this was some sort of satire.  Some mzungu politician or celebrity do-gooder caricatured as a superhero out to save Africa.  That makes sense, right?  No, this story is so much better.   I stumble upon another tweet, a reply to outraged Africans from the creators of this comic, defending this most genius idea as an attempt to empower said Africans.  The way they tell it, the ‘Captain’ sets out to save Africans, but in the end he realises that they need to save themselves.  “Hmmm,” I thought to myself, “this sounds like bullshit.”  Off I went to check out their site.

I can’t stop watching that clip.  The bit where he declares, “Yes! You’re Captain Africa, your time is now!”  This is like the Daily Show, but real.  Priceless!  These buggers are serious, and seriously delusional.  Apparently, the purpose of the comic, based on his real life (the guy up top in the costume, the one who does not in any way resemble the comic Captain), is to raise money for The Tiziano Project, his charity which ‘supports journalism in Africa’.

I’ll be completely honest, at this point I was hoping to google said charity and find nothing.  I wanted it to be a sham.  It isn’t.  It’s now defunct, but it existed.

Our Concept

The Tiziano Project strives to develop and encourage first-class collaborative journalism on a global scale. We are dedicated to expanding knowledge and access to information worldwide by empowering communities to tell their stories.

Through innovative use of information technology, we work towards the betterment of the human condition – one story at a time – by creating jobs and providing educational opportunities in forgotten parts of the world.

By teaching students how to tell and distribute their stories through new media, we are empowering them to produce firsthand narratives of their lives and to shape the world’s perception of their culture and conditions.

It would appear that this NGO was trying to do something good, and it has some successes under it’s belt…

They walk the fine line of poverty porn, but at least they’re proof that something was done. Credit where credit is due, it would appear that this charity had a purpose.  We do need to tell our own stories, and if pandering to outsiders’ jaded views of the continent is what it takes to get a foot in the door, then by all means, pimp our pathetic asses away.  I can only hope the people who were trained are now out there doing some good.  Yay charity!

Still doesn’t explain the amazingly tone deaf comic though…

The least they could have done, if they were so obsessed with Captain Africa being a white man (I keep rolling my eyes at that silly concept), is make him a white African, born and bred here, but nooooo…  The American is coming to save us.  I mean really…  Some days I think these wazungus do this shit just to fuck with us.  Because they can.  How does someone who’s actually lived on this continent, a. refer to Africa like its one large amorphous mass of needy natives, and b. still cling on to the absurd notion that Africans need a white saviour, in this century.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I shall now go watch the Hulk rip apart what appears to be downtown Johannesburg, because that’s all ‘Africa’ is good for, a backdrop to their exciting lives.  Bloody nkt!

  • savvykenya

    First of all, it was freaky arriving on this site and finding no comments! It’s like a new house without any furniture!

    Anyway, I haven’t watched the clips, but I get the gist. Most of us, and not just Americans, have such a narrow grasp of the complexity of life elsewhere. As you said, these people probably think “Africa like its one large amorphous mass of needy natives” and I will add ..”needy natives and endless savannah bush under the hot African sun”. It’s good they were trying to do something, but that isn’t the kind of saving we need. In fact, nobody needs saving and I hate poverty porn and poverty tourism, poor people should not be stripped of the little dignity they have in the glaring lights of world media that chooses to focus only on the poor as Africa’s representatives.

    • Hahahahahahaha! Its weird that there’s no one here, but it’s also a challenge. I need to get you talking, yes?

      You know something about narrow grasps, judging by some of your Japan tales. Its infuriating when we’re bundled together as natives on the savannah, but to make up for it, I propose we lump all americans/wazungus into donald trump, idiot redneck relatives. 😀 Payback she is a bitch. o/

  • Spinster

    I’m on the verge of giving up. A test to see if this is published. If it’s not I guess I’ll just have to find out where you live & leave a note …

    • Spinster

      Aha! Eureka!!! Now I need to find a bathtub to jump out of!!!

      This is the Nth time I’m trying to leave a comment here. Of couse we created shady accounts to enable us leave comments in your previous abode. Now remembering the account .. then the password … and what is disqus anyway! Getting all that info together has been a labour of love!

      I initially had thoughts on Captain Africa when I first read the post. Maybe along the lines of the way the name conjured up images of a bare chested, 6 foot, dark & yummy brother with the face of Denzel who stole into inviting damsels bedrooms at night thus becoming the father of the continent … but I guess I’ll wait for the gutter supliment!

      Hapy New Years!

      • Hahahahahahaha… You’re so special. (insert sloppy kisses all over your face) But disqus can be such an ass, no?

        Captain Africa XXX. I like how you think ma’am. On it…

        Happy new year, and welcome to the new digs.