Dunia wiki hii…

When I was a kid I used to love Dunia Wiki Hii.  Strange, I know, but I was a strange kid.  That half hour of the weeks news all wrapped up concisely for my digestion was just lovely, even better it was mostly international news which they had nyima’d me all week because they were busy telling me about Mtukufu Rais’ latest gabion building exploits.  Now for any of you struggling to comprehend what I’m on about, just stop reading and move on, you’re too young for today’s post.  I’m not sure if Dunia still runs, last time I checked it had been bumped off, but my obsession for weekly round ups persists to this day.  Only these days I’ve become so cynical with how the world works that I inevitably go looking for the ‘man bites dog’ type stories, I figure if I have to be subjected to the rubbish that passes for news, I might as well get some entertainment out of it no?  And with that in mind…

Am I the only one who reads the paper these days and thinks, ‘Are you on crack?’  Does anyone else think that maybe the media has completely lost it?  I’m sorry but charging me 50 bob to read about some genius ‘stepping aside’ doesn’t seem like a fair exchange, or am I just being cheap?  These days reading the paper leaves me more confused than I was to begin with.  Quick question, when someone ‘steps aside’, does that mean they’ve quit or have they gone on leave, were they fired or put on suspension?  And why on earth won’t the idiot writer of said article tell me this in plain English?  These buggers are on crack.

I’ve been fuming about this all week and now finally I have to vent.  Apologies to any and all I may offend…

Monday’s Nation had a picture of Billy on the front page.  Nothing unusual about that right?  My problem is with the caption next to the picture.  The man is quoted as saying, “Pray for us and pray for this country.  God willing, later this year there will be a man at State House who can say ‘Praise God!’”  There was no smiley after this quote, or a LOL, or a question mark, or even a mild, ‘ati what?’  People, it was not an attempt at humour, or sarcasm, or even satire, this is what passes as headline news these days.  Eh?  Now I’m not interested in the man’s politics, or anyone else’s for that matter, if you want to have an election debate go somewhere else, I have slightly more serious problems to deal with.  What I am interested in however is Billy’s purported religion, a religion allegedly shared by millions in this country.  How is it that a man ‘suspected’ of truly evil shit can get himself quoted on the front page of my daily, mouthing off about God and prayer?  And how is it that none of the many believers in this town have anything to say about this?  How is it that this man is not only welcomed into a church, he’s given a microphone and invited to speak?  And no one walks out?  Really?

In other news, this time in the Saturday Nation, it appears that one Sonko was apparently also in said church on said Sunday.  He too was given a chance to speak to the masses therein, at which time he narrated his experiences in prison, the prison that at that time was also accommodating the future pastor/owner of this very same church.  Again I quote, “We were with him in remand.  But God works in his own ways.  He is now a preacher.  I left and went on to become a member of parliament.”  And again I ask, eh?  I’m all for redemption but this is bordering on the absurd, if it wasn’t so tragic it would be funny.

By now you know that I am not even remotely religious, but come the fuck on…  Can the believers out here please stand up and be counted?

Kai ni kii?